Mediation is a method of resolving conflict with the help of a neutral facilitator. The goal of A SMARTER DIVORCE mediation is to aid the parties in resolving all of their disputes themselves without the need for costly litigation. A SMARTER DIVORCE mediation addresses all parenting and financial issues in a non-adversarial setting. Mediation allows you to keep control of the process and develop solutions to your situation that are unique and best for you. Mediation can also help you establish a framework for addressing future disputes which arise during child-rearing years.

Co-mediation enhances the benefits of mediation by having two skilled mediators work with the couple. This method increases the experience, knowledge and problem solving creativity provided by the mediators. Leslie and Doug have helped guide many couples to creative solutions which were not even thought of prior to the start of the mediation.

Co-mediation also offers the opportunity for the parties to be in separate rooms, when necessary, and still use time efficiently since the mediators can split up rather than having one mediator shuttling between two rooms.

Over the years we have found that having a male-female team is also effective. The mediators are both neutral and work as a team; neither mediator will be the “wife’s mediator” or the “husband’s mediator.” However, some people are simply more comfortable speaking to a certain gender, or do not wish to be in room where they are “outnumbered” by the other gender. This provides an atmosphere where the participants are more relaxed and creative throughout the process.

At A Smarter Divorce, our rates for two mediators are similar or only slightly higher than rates for one mediator elsewhere. In our experience, co-mediation results in a better outcome in a shorter amount of time and therefore the total cost to the couple is actually comparable or less than using one mediator.

Mediation is a voluntary process so both parties need to agree to mediate. At the first mediation session both parties and Leslie and Doug will review the mediation guidelines and you can ask any questions you have about the process. The basic guidelines of mediation include the need to have full and open disclosure of all assets and other material information related to the issues to be resolved, and being respectful of one another. You will then identify for the mediators all issues that need to be resolved. There will be a discussion of the information needed to be gathered to make an informed decision. Throughout the process there may be discussions about whether to include other professionals (a tax expert for example) if necessary. The mediators will work with you to prioritize your list of issues and then begin the process of reaching a resolution working on the most pressing issues first.

In order to do this, there needs to be an environment in which both parties feel safe to express themselves and suggest ideas that would not necessarily feel “safe” if the parties were simply sitting around the kitchen table. At we strive to create that open and understanding place where both people can say what is really on their minds in a respectful manner. The mediation process has the parties problem-solve rather than taking positions. “I want XYZ” is a position. “The problem is ABC” (fill in the blank—getting kids to school, having the cash flow after a house sells, how will a spouse’s education be paid for to allow him/her to get a good job) opens up a discussion where the parties can come up with a list of possible solutions. There are always a few solutions to each problem; with Leslie and Doug’s help and experience, the parties often come up with solutions they had never considered before mediation. The ultimate goal is a written agreement that can be relied upon and incorporated into any future divorce decree. This agreement, created by the parties, will be the basis for the parties moving forward instead of a Judge’s decision.

Neither Joan nor Doug are representing either party. Mediators are neutrals and do not take sides in any mediation. We are not the lawyer for either party. Therefore, any agreement that is drafted should (and this is highly encouraged) be reviewed by each party’s own lawyer before it is signed.

Yes. Mediation can occur either before the parties have attorneys or after they have attorneys. It can occur before anyone files for divorce (or a post-judgment motion) or after one party files. The parties can decide if they want their lawyers present at the mediation. Usually lawyers do not need to be present. Having a lawyer present adds a level of formality and adversarial climate that can disrupt the creative process. Leslie and Doug advise people to have their agreements reviewed by their own lawyers before signing them. If the parties have attorneys, nothing will be signed until the parties have at least had the opportunity to contact their attorney. It is that simple.

Therefore, mediation is always low risk throughout the process and can end costly litigation and emotional stress, even if the parties have been engaged in difficult litigation for months or years prior to the start of mediation.

The answer depends on the circumstances and the laws in your jurisdiction. In some family law cases, courts may require mediation before certain issues can proceed to a hearing. Even when mediation is not mandatory, many individuals choose it because it can save time, reduce costs, and provide greater control over the outcome.

Mediation can be used to address a wide range of family law matters, including divorce-related disputes, parenting plans, child custody, visitation schedules, child support, spousal support, property division, and modifications to existing agreements. The goal is to help parties reach practical solutions that work for their unique situation.

The length of mediation varies depending on the complexity of the issues involved and the willingness of both parties to cooperate. Some cases can be resolved in a single session, while others may require multiple meetings. In many situations, mediation can help families reach agreements more quickly than traditional litigation.

Once an agreement is reached, it can typically be documented in writing and submitted to the court for approval when required. After the agreement is incorporated into a court order or final judgment, it generally becomes legally binding and enforceable. A Smarter Divorce can help ensure that agreements are properly prepared and finalized according to applicable legal requirements.

Couples who want to create their own solutions rather than having a court mandate a solution for them should consider mediation. Most couples can benefit from mediation when going through the difficult process of separation and divorce. Even where there is high conflict in the relationship, mediation is often the best way to resolve disputes in a fair and equitable manner. Litigation often increases stress and animosity between parties. Mediation creates an atmosphere where the stress and anger are decreased. However there are some circumstances, such as where there has been physical abuse, when mediation may not be appropriate. A preliminary conversation with one of our mediators can help you determine if mediation is right for you.

Choose a mediator experienced in family law and the divorce process. Choose someone that both parties are comfortable with and can speak honestly to during the sessions. At A Smarter Divorce the mediators are attorneys who have decades of experience in family law litigation and mediation. They are familiar with the financial and emotional aspects of divorce. They understand that divorce is unique to each couple and will help you find resolutions to your unique disputes. The team approach of A Smarter Divorce encourages parties to seek out not only the right mediator, but also the right experts to advise them and guide them toward resolution.

At A Smarter Divorce we can call upon experts in various fields to assist us in gathering all of the information needed. The parties can hire a financial advisor, an appraiser, a child psychologist, or any other type of expert needed to help the couple come to a resolution. During litigation the parties each have their own expert. It is therefore twice as expensive and probably not that helpful to a Judge listening to competing analysis. In mediation, both parties agree upon one expert thereby saving time and money and getting information that is unbiased.

Depending upon the number of issues and the areas of disagreement, the process could take as little as 2-3 sessions or may take weeks. Either way, it is months shorter than waiting for a court date to resolve the issues in a heated atmosphere. The mediators will determine how many sessions will probably be necessary to resolve the conflict and come up with an agreement. The parties pay for the sessions plus any preparation time on an hourly basis. The parties will sign a contract that will outline all of their financial responsibilities.

The vast majority of parties who have mediated their disputes do not use the court system for any future disputes. Through mediation parties learn how to resolve disputes which arise after mediation is concluded. This is especially important for couples who have children.

In litigation, each party pays their own lawyer to gather vast amounts of documentation, hire their own experts and prepare for trial. In mediation the couple shares all necessary information and the costs of any experts needed to evaluate that information. If custody is an issue, the parties can agree to hire one child development expert to help them come to a decision that is in the best interests of their children.

Mediation works in a vast majority of cases. When parties are motivated to keep their disputes out of the courtroom, mediation can be very successful. However, mediation does not always work. If one party is determined to have a day in court, resolution may be difficult. If both sides are not honest and open about their true needs and interests for a resolution of the dispute, then mediation cannot work. At A Smarter Divorce, we will discuss your individual situation in an initial conversation to determine if we believe mediation is appropriate for your case.

A couple can mediate before they separate to come up with either a temporary agreement or a final agreement. They can mediate after their separation but before they file for divorce or they can mediate after the divorce is filed. They can also mediate post-divorce issues such as modifications of custody, visitation, and child support.

No. Couples who are simply contemplating separation can benefit from mediating their disputes. Couples who are not married can mediate both custody and visitation issues and any financial issues. Both traditional and non-traditional families can mediate issues.

At A Smarter Divorce we can advise couples of the statutes and case law. Based upon our experience, we can give you a probable range of financial and custody options. We cannot advise you whether or not to agree to any specific settlement. Couples can seek the advice of an attorney. 

What could be better than a resolution that you agreed to? In court, the judge makes all the decisions about your future: how much money you will have for support, when you will see your children, who gets the furniture. In mediation, you decide all of those issues. By giving your case to a lawyer and putting it in the hands of a judge, you are relying on gamesmanship and chance. A lawyer cannot assure you of any result. Through mediation, you keep control of the process, create your own solutions, save money, save time, save the children from stress, and save your friends from a lot of war stories about how the judge didn’t understand the case.